My husband just told me 5 minutes ago that I "add to the nightly stress". That may be true, but it's easy to say from his perspective - is he the one home all day, working, and taking care of three kids? Is he the one who dealt with the twins at the doctor's appointment today? Does he know how badly I need a break by about 5pm each day (at which point he's never home from work)? Husbands, take note: commiserate, be supportive, step up to the plate. Don't judge, don't armchair quarterback. You're not living a mom's life and trust me, if she's home with kids (and in my case working too), it's still tougher than a dad's life. I'll get hate mail from dads now, but study after study bears out the truth of my (somewhat tough) words there. So I'm not excusing that I'm a ball of stress by 5pm each day, but I think a better approach he could take is to diffuse it rather than stoke it. And the only way to diffuse it is to take over for the kids and just let me chill, as much as is possible with the dinner rush and kid bedtimes. And then after kid bedtimes let me do something nice for myself, or heck, do something nice for me! It all seems so clear to me how this could work more effectively, and how I'd feel more supported by the spouse.
The doctor's appointment today wasn't fun, but it wasn't nearly as awful as the first few months when they screamed for over an hour straight. They only cried a little, but I was on edge for the whole two hours, waiting on the meltdowns. And being on edge for two hours is no fun. All in all, an uneventful appointment, with the good news being the ears are clearing (but I knew that, given the behavior of the twins). So here are the growth stats, with the weight taking a surprising turn from just one week ago:
Molly: 27 3/4'' height, 17 lb, 4 oz weight, and a bigger head
Lily: 28 3/4'' height, 17 lb, 11 oz weight, and a smaller head
So Lily chunked out the past week, and Molly stayed about the same. And of course Lily still looks like the smaller one because she's long and lean with the smaller head. At birth, Molly was the heavier baby (by 3 ounces), and this is the first appointment where Lily has overtaken her. Lily, my NICU child, you've come a long way, baby. They were an inch apart in height at birth so this has remained the same.
Our evening was crazier tonight, with Lily on a tear during dinnertime. We actually pushed her high chair into the dining room to let her be alone and try to calm herself. I was over the edge by that point. We had to do baby baths from food messes and the babies were overtired from the doc appointment so the evening got a bit out of control. And so did I. I'm human, OK?
Tomorrow is an office day, and maybe that's a good thing.