Single Parenting, Night #1

It's basically 8:45pm and I have all three kids to bed. None are asleep, but they're happily in bed. The evening went just fine, absolutely smooth ... so far, so good.

Kyle actually left later today than I had realized he would, so he helped us until around 2:30pm today. He took Claire to preschool, joined us at lunch, and watched half of Claire's gym class (where Molly fell in the baby room and gave herself a goose egg on her forehead). Since 2:30pm I've been on my own, and all has been quiet and peaceful. I even had a relatively busy work Tuesday but managed to get it all done.

The house is already cleaned and the dishwasher running, so I am debating some tv/reading time versus picking a house project to start and finish tonight - like cleaning out a closet or something painfully boring like that.

Last night I saw "The Reader" with another twin mom friend - it was my "gift" to myself before I was cooped up with kids for five days by myself (and can you believe a Monday night movie only costs $5? What is this? 1990?) - and I really enjoyed it. Very haunting, very thought provoking. Just as Newsweek promised. Also a little gratuitous on the naked scenes with the two lovers, just as Newsweek promised. I highly recommend it. Next up: "Revolutionary Road" also with Kate Winslet, which might cut a little too close to home but I enjoy movies making me a little uncomfortable in that way.

Stocking Up On Supplies

The weekend flew by. I think my current perspective on "time off" is affected by my recent long holiday vacation, so this weekend felt much too short. Friday I felt hurried to enjoy magnificent 60+ degree weather ... I wanted to get the kids out, yet still make sure I got my work done. The twins and I went to Target for a supplies run (mainly baby wipes, of the very same boxes that caused Lily's collarbone fracture) while Claire was at preschool. We then picked Claire up and had lunch with her friend Lauren (and Lauren's mom and brother) at the McDonald's with a play place, so the girls ran wild and the twins stayed amazingly entertained. We got the twins home for an afternoon nap, and I did my best to keep Claire from getting bored, but I was busy helping a potential customer figure out how to get some device working. I was also looking up health information on the internet, because my manager's 4-year-old was at Children's Mercy and the news filtering back wasn't good. Basically, her immune system was destroying her own red blood cells, and she was one very sick little girl. (The good news: she went home today, and she is expected to be just fine.)

Saturday the temperature was about 40 degrees lower and Claire and I were out early for her first tap/ballet lesson in the 4-year-old class. She got measured for her costume (yeah - we get to see a real recital with a routine and costumes at the end of this!) and was excited to see the other Lauren. She quickly became very mad at me when I turned down Lauren's offer to join them at Einstein Bagel ... I wasn't up for a brunch kind of deal and we needed a Sam's Club trip for more supplies. I can foresee this will happen every Saturday. Claire will want to join Lauren at Einstein's, and I won't want us to get "off schedule" and eat at the "wrong" time. I know, I'm a rigid freak, but we eat lunch around here at 11:30am and that's that - my pattern won't change. My body can't handle it.

By the time we made it to Sam's Club Claire was in a fine mood again. Afterwards, she chose Mr. Goodcents for lunch. I got a short kid break in the form of an eyebrow wax and (bad) haircut, and then I returned home ready to take Claire out for a snack and a Target trip, but she was in borderline brat mode so I ended up staying at home the remainder of the day. Claire got a time out in her room and was generally a little difficult the rest of the day.

Today Claire and I went to Waffle House for lunch and then made the Target run we missed on Saturday. We also did big grocery shopping at HyVee. The temperature warmed up into the 40s today, so we bundled up the kids and took a brief walk too.

So why, you might be wondering, all the supplies and groceries? Kyle is leaving for Atlanta on Tuesday and is not returning until Saturday, so I'll be damned if I get caught without diapers or paper towels during this week. Grocery shopping is impossible with the three, so I had to do it all in advance (even worse - I'm in charge of preschool snacks on Thursday, so I have to bake cookies too). So he's gone for five days .... four nights .... hmmmmm .... that's a long time to be left with the kids alone ....

Tubes Debate

It was spaghetti night at our house. Lily always ends up with noodles stuck to her chest. It's a good thing we still strip 'em down at dinner time.

The last two days have been "doctor days" - we saw the ENT yesterday about ear tubes and the pediatrician today for the 15-month well child check up. First, the stats: Lily is 20 1/2 pounds, 31 inches. Molly is 21 lbs, 12 ounces, 31 inches. So their height has evened out! Molly just continues to be the chunky monkey (her head is also the usual 5/8 inch larger too). Unfortunately I don't know their percentiles because the doctor and I were so busy talking ear tubes. The doctor did find the personality and skill differences between the twins quite amusing (she kept saying "wow, they are so different"). She also noted Lily's shyness and Molly's outgoing behavior. Lily cried even if the doctor or nurse looked at her long enough, whereas Molly was smiling and laughing and engaging them.

The ear tube consult with the ENT was an eye opener. I thought that sophisticated testing was available to check whether the girls are good candidates for tubes. Uh, no. The doctor purely went off of number of earaches in the past year (and at about 10 apiece, is very high). He said that based on number alone they are good candidates. We had a long discussion about risks, and his statement that for 1 in 100 kids, the eardrum slit doesn't heal properly and that requires another, more involved surgery did scare me a little. With two kids, my risk level is higher. He also said that sometimes this second surgery can fail (about 10% of the time) and I basically went bleary eyed at that point - that sounds like too much messing around with an eardrum and guaranteed hearing loss.

Our pediatrician today said it's "purely parent choice". She is definitely conservative, like myself, on this topic. She said there's only about an 8-month timeline for the tube's effectiveness so if we want to take advantage of it we should jump on it now while it's winter. She also stated that the older kids get, the fewer the ear infections they get, but I'm not so sure that's true with the way my kids' ears work (in fact the ENT was "surprised" that Claire still gets ear infections - I told him we have a proud family history of earaches well into the older childhood years).

So basically I'm debating the risks of the surgery versus the risks of being on antibiotics about once a month - which risk is the lesser of two evils? This is how I view my choices. As of today, I'm not entirely sure which way I lean after what I've heard the last two days. Maybe the next round of earaches will push me toward tubes though.

Claire went back to preschool today. She was very happy about that! My job got busy in the afternoon so unfortunately Claire was pretty bored during that time. At moments she did a decent job of entertaining herself, like by playing with her new dollhouse, but she can't sustain it for long. And again, she's sound asleep at a reasonable time tonight! All it takes is getting her up by 8am and making sure she gets some activity during the day. Problem solved!

Gym Class Fun

Claire really enjoyed gym class, and most importantly, she was asleep on time tonight thanks to the activity. The twins did beautifully at her class! I worked hard to get them to nap in the morning, but only Lily snoozed. I was prepared for an utter disaster with Molly, but she was so interested in the toddler play room we sat in (which has a window into the gym room) that she didn't cry one time. Of course the toys went in their mouths, so we'll be sick in no time. Urgh. If every Tuesday goes this smoothly I'll feel very lucky.

I got a nice surprise by the sight of one of my childhood friends - her son is also in Claire's gym class so I know someone that will be there every week! She couldn't believe I was there, but I explained that I was "cheating" by enrolling Claire in a workday class. Tuesdays are one of my slowest work days so I'm hopeful my cheating won't ever get me in trouble.

Tomorrow is the twins' ENT appointment and I'm a little anxious about how it will go. I'm not worried about the doctor's opinion - my guess is he'll tell me they're good candidates for tubes - but I'm worried about cranky babies at a doctor's office!

Busy Week Ahead

Tomorrow kicks off a reasonably busy work week schedule. In the afternoon Claire starts her parks & rec gym class. I truly hope I don't come to regret signing her up for a class during a WFH day, not to mention the class takes place during the twins' usual afternoon naptime. I'll have to split their usual one nap into two naps on Tuesdays going forward. I know Claire will enjoy the class, though, and it will help her get to bed on time. She needs the activity.

Wednesday is the twins' ENT appointment (which will be a struggle I'm sure) and Thursday is Claire's back-to-school day and the twins' 15-month well child check up. Saturday Claire's tap & ballet class starts up again and I'm really disliking the 9:15am start time ... that's super early for us on a Saturday.

Today I had a low-key office day, and it was just what the doctor ordered. I also made leftovers tonight for dinner (white beans and ham) so that made dinner prep easy. Molly sat calmly through the entire dinner - not one screaming incident from her! I don't know if this was a fluke or we're making headway in her behavior training. I'm really determined to reduce her frustration and teach her that good behavior gets more attention.

The History Channel is doing some kind of Armageddon Week thing and I got sucked into watching some of it last night. Talk about depressing. I always feel guilty for bringing these kids into the world with all the dire predictions about our planet, but these shows really hammer it home. I'd like to believe there is a more optimistic future for them but I have a nagging belief that the future holds some unpleasant surprises (drastic climate change or something similarly destructive) which provides me with endless fear for them. My own parents got lucky - I doubt these concerns ever crossed their minds when I was young, and I'm doubtful they give it much thought even now (hey, Papa, I'll confirm with you later). But I do obsess a little too much about it, and recycle, and gripe at Kyle over being wasteful, and try to teach Claire about taking care of the earth. Obviously these small efforts won't fix anything but it calms my fears a little - hey, at least I'm taking some action here. And I fervently hope that my fears are never realized.

A Titanic Tantrum

Claire threw the worst tantrum I've seen in months tonight. She continues to stay up too late (last night was 11pm) and today I ran her ragged so she'd go to sleep on time, so I knew it was coming. Today we went to lunch at Waffle House, went to JoAnn for fabric remnants and window box flowers for the dollhouse, went to Target, picked up our pottery (see photo! Claire's plate looks so cute), and then attended a 4-5:30pm birthday party where they ran around the parks & rec gym room. When I told her after the party that no, she could not have the chocolate party treats before dinner time, her tantrum started. She got it under control but the beast reappeared at bedtime when she had to put on pajamas. She screamed out of control in that evil devil voice and it was quite a sight. She was also asleep in minutes. Finally. Amazingly neither Kyle nor I lost control during her fit.

The weather was fantastic today, unseasonably warm, so I knew we had to make the most of it. The cold front is already coming in and tomorrow will be back to freezing temperatures. We also got spared Kyle's puke thing, so he must have had food poisoning. This has made me happy, but I was anxious for 48 hours waiting on the rest of us to get sick. My new prediction is that running around the parks & rec gym today will bring us a new sickness in about two days.

I'm working on some behavior "training" for Molly. If she's not screaming, she gets lots of praise and attention. If she starts the screaming again I withhold the attention. I'm hoping I can retrain the kid away from her recent obnoxious behavior (which even takes place in public). For Lily, we need to work on going down the stairs. Molly learned how to do stairs within about two tries. Lily still approaches them head on, and then tries to stand and go down, despite weeks and weeks of coaching. It's frustrating me (maybe a little too much) because I'd like her to learn so that I'm not carrying two kids down the stairs. I want to be able to (somewhat) trust both of them to handle stairs correctly. Lily is just a harder child to teach. If you show her something, she watches, then might try to imitate if you're lucky, but then loses interest quickly or starts laughing and isn't paying attention at that point. This also frustrates me because I worry this will be her mode for many years, causing developmental issues. Hopefully not.

Photos today are of Claire's plate and a few of the twins. In the photo on the stairs, the twins are throwing bean bag ladybugs down the stairs and thinking it's very funny.

Back on Puke Watch

We're at it again. Kyle spent the day throwing up, so we're waiting to see who gets this next. That makes for two ruined holidays - both Christmas and New Year's Day - thanks to the norovirus cooties. I had a long day taking care of kids by myself, but I enjoyed it up until about 8pm when Lily wouldn't stop crying at bedtime (which is generally a bad sign as she only cries at bedtime when she isn't feeling good). I had to ditch my walk with my friend to figure out Lily's problem which frustrated me greatly. I was really needing some adult time tonight after a day of kids but I didn't get it.

I got the kids out to Wal-Mart for a supplies run and everyone was great until check-out time. At that critical moment, Molly went into full public meltdown (with all Wal-Mart shoppers staring and commenting) which was horrifying for me. By the time I got her in the car she was back to smiling and acting happy which just amazes me about kids. I then took the car through the car wash which, I guess, is the world's most terrifying thing ever, as the twins were scared beyond belief and screamed so loudly that Claire covered her ears for the duration of the wash. I found it both mildly amusing and a little frustrating. I also remember Claire had the same fear at their age, so I wasn't surprised by the reaction.

Tomorrow I'm back to work, albeit from home, assuming I'm not throwing up by then. One would think we could be allowed a break from sicknesses by now?!